I lost my way. As I moved further and further from the cover of their wings, I was confronted by people and a world that did not understand, nor accept my people. I did not understand anything but the unconditional love that was given to me. I became frustrated, then simply bitter. At times, I was angry. I've lost friends and love because my father was black, or worse, because I was neither black nor white. I have suffered indignities of intent, indifference, and ignorance. However, as previously mentioned, the most saddening affect was that I become bitter and lost my faith in Americans, and sometimes humanity.
A couple of days ago, the Miami-Dade Elections Department made an error and did not honor my request for an absentee ballot. Once again, I was suspicious and angry. Then I realized I could do something. I called my passionately intelligent and inspiring girlfriend; asking her if she thought it silly or stupid of me to fly to Florida so I could vote. We reasoned that a few dollars would be a small price to pay for my principles.
Though it has already become a bromide, November 4, 2008 was historic. Leading up to this day, I feared that the racism my father faced would not be overcome in his lifetime, nor even mine. As I filled-in the ellipse on the ballot, I triple-checked my vote. I teared up at the seemingly unbelievable reality of having the option to select Barack. This was the seed. Admittedly, I was proud of my effort, proud of my girlfriend for supporting my passion. Proud that I cared more about something greater than me.
The results started appearing on the television, I regretted not donating more to the campaign, not being more active. I realized my cynicism and bitterness had rendered me ineffective and a poor citizen and man. As the victory became imminent, I approached ebullient disbelief coupled with optimism. MSNBC made the declaration. I cheered and cried. I tried to reach my father by phone, then my girlfriend. My grandmother Irene, the woman who taught me to be a gentleman, called me first. This flood of emotion washed out my negativity. The bold efforts and wisdom of over 53 million American citizens; the intelligent and gracious speech of a defeated white leader; and the eloquent inspiration of a mixed-race man, now President-Elect of the United States of America has restored my faith in American and mankind.
The epic has only begun for me, Barack Obama, United States of America, and the world. Just a day ago, I did not believe that certain things were possible. I did not have pride in my country, nor people in general. I am changed. As the disbelief wanes, I am hopeful, proud, inspired by those who worked so hard to change that which "could not be changed." There are no acceptable excuses for not making efforts to better OUR world . Because of the fortitude and faith of others, there is nothing else to do but believe. I have found faith in what is right. Now I must do what is right.
